


The Reason (Is You)

by Ithiel_Dragon



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: A little more plot than I thought, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Comfort/Angst, Discussion about Death and Suicide, Dream Sex, End Game Spoilers, Explicit Sexual Content, Got a little Dark, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Porn With Plot, Porn starts in Ch. 4, Porn with Feelings, Shameless Smut, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:07:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28168218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ithiel_Dragon/pseuds/Ithiel_Dragon
Summary: V is pushing himself too hard and he's exhausted, both physically and mentally.  Johnny is determined to make him get some rest for a change, and maybe give him some good dreams while he's at it.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Male V
Comments: 86
Kudos: 480





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [原因（是你）](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28978533) by [AphasiaHeart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AphasiaHeart/pseuds/AphasiaHeart)



V ran his hand over the mirror, wiping away the condensation that had formed on its surface before staring at his reflection. His hair still dripped from the shower and his skin was slightly pink from the water being just a little too hot for comfort. Yet despite the vigorous scrubbing he’d given himself, he still didn’t feel completely clean. 

How many more people were going to die before this was all over? Was all this even worth it?

As he contemplated the dark bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, and the increasing lines on his face more from stress than age, he began to hear the soft strumming of a guitar. V broke the gaze of his own reflection and hung his head, his fingers digging into the sink in front of him. 

Johnny. It had to be. The man was never gone from his thoughts for very long these days. His presence in V’s life growing stronger day by day. He was seeing Johnny a lot more often now too. His glitchy ghost always there. Sometimes just a shadow at the edge of his vision. More often strutting around, offering his (often unasked) opinion on everything V was doing at the time. Or simply lounging, puffing on a digital cigarette that couldn’t possibly do anything for him, but must have brought Johnny some form of comfort. Letting him pretend he was a little more real than he was maybe. A little more human.

V sighed, grabbing his jeans off the floor and slipping them back on even though they were filthy and it pretty much negated the purpose of the shower he’d just indulged in. V knew it was pointless, Johnny was in his head after all, there wasn’t exactly any kind of privacy to be had in that circumstance. But it was still weird to think about walking out there with his cock swinging free in front of the other man. Especially when V couldn't be certain it would behave itself in front of Johnny. A problem that was also increasing as the days went by. 

He opened the bathroom door, letting out a cloud of steam, as he walked into his living space. Johnny was sitting on the couch. The TV screen behind him turned on, but muted. Johnny wasn’t paying any attention to it anyway. Instead plucking away at a digital replica of his old Samurai guitar. What V _hadn’t_ been prepared for was Johnny to appear in a very similar state to himself. Wearing nothing but a pair of leather pants that were really too tight to be decent. His chest bare and his damp hair hanging loose and dripping water onto his shoulders. His naked feet were propped up on V’s low table and somehow it made him seem almost… vulnerable. 

V’s breath hitched in his throat and he swallowed hard. Johnny might be the biggest asshole he'd ever known, but he was still a very attractive man. In a dangerous, I don’t give a fuck, kind of way. He didn’t even need to try to look good, and he knew it. V could tell Johnny wasn’t trying now either, he was just… relaxed in a way he rarely was. Which was somehow even more hot. Johnny wasn’t even wearing his signature aviators, leaving his expression open, and if V had to describe it, thoughtful. 

Johnny didn’t acknowledge his presence, though he had to know V was standing there. He just kept on playing, and V forced himself to look away from the other man. Before his staring could become even more obvious. Before Johnny could pick up on the rather inappropriate thoughts V was having at finding Johnny fucking Silverhand lounging around practically naked in his apartment. If he hadn’t already. 

Eventually Johnny’s song came to an end and silence filled the space between them. V cleared his throat and shifted from foot to foot, wondering what, if anything, Johnny expected him to say. 

“That was nice. Not like your usual songs though,” V offered. Johnny hummed and one of his cigarettes materialized in his hand which he took a long drag of before answering.

“Not one of mine. An oldie. Way before your time.”

Well, that wasn’t cryptic at all.

“Just give me a minute to get dressed, then we’ll go,” V decided to change the topic and moved over to his closet. He expected Johnny to disappear again so he could get dressed. Johnny didn’t though. He remained sitting where he was on the couch, guitar in one hand and cigarette in the other as he studied V with an unreadable expression. 

“What?” V finally demanded.

“You should try to get some sleep while we’re here, you look like shit,” Johnny said, almost nonchalantly. 

“Gee, thanks.”

“I’m serious.”

“I’m not tired,” V replied stubbornly, even as he bit off a yawn. As though just saying the word made him realize how exhausted he really was.

“You’re running on empty,” Johnny said, suddenly appearing right beside V far too close for comfort. V stepped back away from Johnny, and his closet, which had probably been Johnny’s intention. 

“I can pick up some stims on the way out. I’ll be fine,” he tried to argue. Johnny shook his head and sighed dramatically.

“You know taking too much of that shit will kill you way before that chip in your head will,” Johnny stated. He actually looked concerned.

“What the hell am I supposed to do!” V snapped, “I don’t have time to-”

“A few hours of shut eye probably won’t make a damn bit of difference, and you know it. Hell, keeping your brain juiced up all the time will probably just make it worse. Get some sleep V. Please?” 

V opened his mouth to keep arguing, but ended up shutting it again without a word. It wasn’t so much that Johnny that had said ‘please’ to begin with that shocked him. But the man’s tone when he’d said it. Was Johnny really that worried about him? A part of him wanted to agree. He _was_ exhausted. Johnny was right about that. But a bigger part of him was afraid… if he closed his eyes, even for a moment, he might never open them again. The relic was malfunctioning more and more often lately. What if…

“Hey,” Johnny said softly, placing a hand on V’s shoulder. V couldn’t exactly feel it, but his skin still tingled a little where they touched, “It’s okay. I’ll be here. If anything happens I’ll wake you up. Promise.”

While realistically V knew that Johnny might not be able to keep that promise, it still helped him relax a little. After all, even though Johnny was a bastard and didn’t always do things the way V might want, the man hadn’t let him down yet. Hell, he’d even saved his ass a few times.

“Alright,” V agreed, and Johnny patted his shoulder one last time before letting his hand drop. V missed the touch immediately, even though it had barely been there to begin with. V sighed and moved over to his bed. His head felt heavy and his eyes slipped closed almost before he hit the pillow. As he drifted off, he started to hear the strumming guitar again. Just as soft as before, but a little closer now. As though Johnny was sitting right at the end of his bed. 

“Sweet dreams, V.”

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

The club was dark. Fake smoke and strobing lights created a surreal atmosphere that perfectly complimented the pounding rock music filling the space. All around him were writhing faceless bodies. Dancing. Fucking. Could have been one in the same and no one really cared. All anyone really cared about was the music making their blood pound and the band at the front of the room who was responsible. 

Cheers erupted in a crescendo around him, almost drowning out the guitar solo that had prompted it in the first place. V looked towards the stage and blinked in surprise when he saw that the lead guitarist of the band was none other than himself. 

“What the hell?” He didn’t even know how to play…

A firm hand grasped his shoulder from behind him, startling V enough to whirl around with a punch... that was easily caught in a silver hand. 

“Woah, easy there tiger,” Johnny laughed, as though he didn’t care that V had almost taken his head off. Hell, the asshole was probably used to that kind of greeting.

“Fucking Christ, Johnny!” V yelled. Irritated… before a different kind of surprise began to overtake him. Johnny had _touched_ him. Not that vague tingling sensation that V had become used to, there had been actual _pressure_ where Johnny had squeezed his shoulder. Johnny was still holding his upraised hand, and the metallic fingers felt cool against his skin.

“How is this possible?” V asked, thoroughly confused. It didn’t help when Johnny smirked and tugged V in closer by the hand he was still gripping. Pressed up against Johnny, V could feel just how solid the man really was. How warm he felt. Alive. Hell, V could even feel the man’s heart beating beneath his hand as Johnny pressed it against his chest. 

“Pretty neat, huh?” 

“That’s not an answer,” V snapped. He was confused, scared, and it came out as anger. He and Johnny weren’t so different in that regard. But he was terrified that this was yet one step closer to losing the battle against the biochip stuck in his head. Was he hallucinating again? 

Johnny’s expression unexpectedly softened.

“Hey, take it easy. Just breathe,” Johnny said softly as his warm, flesh and blood, hand settled on the back of V’s neck. Grounding. Comforting. V closed his eyes and tried to do just that. He hadn’t even realized how ragged his breathing had become, until it began to even out. How close he was to hyperventilating, “You’re okay. You’re just dreaming.”

That caught V’s attention and he slowly lifted his head.

“Dreaming?” How could it possibly be a dream? Everything felt too… real. Sights. Sounds. Smell. Touch… Even BD’s didn’t come quite this close to reality, because on some level you still knew the experiences weren’t your own. But this? It was a lot like the flashes of memories he'd seen that belonged to Johnny… Then suddenly V realized exactly where he was. It was the place where Samurai had played their first gig, and where they’d arranged for the band to get together one last time. Well, that would explain why he was on stage… but it didn’t explain why he was reliving things from a different perspective, instead of through Johnny’s eyes. 

“Come on, let's sit. Have a drink. Give you time to get your bearings,” Johnny offered, leading V through the throng of dancers towards the bar. V was still too shocked by what was going on to resist. Johnny pushed him towards an empty stool and motioned to the bartender. Two glasses were set before them along with a bottle. Johnny’s favorite liquor, V realized. Johnny poured them both a healthy glass of the strong alcohol before he faced V with a sigh and took off his glasses.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out with all this. I honestly wasn’t sure if it would even work,” Johnny said, reaching for his own glass and downing most of it. V followed suit, and marveled at the intensity and accuracy of the taste that hit his tongue. The burn in his throat that followed. It all seemed too real to be nothing more than a dream, but what else could it be? How else could Johnny be standing in front of him, flesh and blood, and reacting to the world around him? 

“How are you even doing this?” V asked, resisting the urge to reach out and touch Johnny again. If only to prove he hadn’t imagined touching the other man before. Johnny lit up a cigarette and V was once again surprised by the smell of burning tobacco. Something that had always been absent before when Johnny indulged in his habit as a hologram that only V could see. 

“Honestly? No clue. I wasn’t expecting this. But it seemed a shame you didn’t even get to see the gig when you went through so much trouble putting it together in the first place,” Johnny said, and took a long drag from his cig. 

“Maybe I should have asked first…” Johnny mused, almost to himself. It definitely wasn’t every day that Johnny admitted to being at fault. For crossing a line. Hell, most of the time he was all too happy to leap across whatever boundaries someone set up, and cheerfully throw them the middle finger from the other side. V wasn’t used to seeing this side of the other man. Johnny shrugged before continuing, “I just thought… you could use a break. Relax a little, you know?”

At that, V had to smirk a little.

“You thought a rock concert would be a good place to relax at?” 

Johnny blew smoke in his face, proving he was still an asshole. V coughed and waved it away.

“Damn right, it is. Booze, sex, and great music? What more could you want?” Johnny replied and he sounded completely serious. To Johnny that probably was the epitome of entertainment. When he wasn’t blowing shit up or setting things on fire, that was.

V finished off his drink, and Johnny refilled the glass, as though to prove the point.

“Your music, of course,” V commented. 

“I did say _great_ music,” Johnny shot back, and V snorted. 

They spent some time at the bar, drinking in silence. Johnny continued to chain smoke, of course, but V didn’t mind. While it was still a little weird seeing himself up on the stage, it was also pretty cool. V knew how much this gig had meant to Johnny, and he was glad he was able to help make it happen. That he was able to give Johnny a little bit of closure to his old life. 

V felt himself relaxing in spite of himself, partly due to the alcohol, and partly because he realized this was the first time in a while he wasn’t in any pain. The headaches, dizziness, and nausea that had been so constant these last few weeks was completely absent. He’d been feeling like shit for so long he’d almost gotten used to it. Now that it was gone the relief was immeasurable. Though an underlying dread still remained, because V was all too aware that this was only a brief respite. 

Sometimes he wished it could all just… stop. 

Johnny abruptly stubbed out his last cigarette on the bar and snatched V’s glass from his hand.

“What?”

“Come on. Let’s dance,” Johnny said, not waiting for V to reply before he was all but dragging V off his stool and onto the dance floor. 

“Are you serious?” V asked in disbelief when he finally regained his footing. 

“Why not? You like dancing, don’t you?” Johnny countered, and V couldn’t really deny it. He’d gone out clubbing and dancing with Jackie dozens of times after successful jobs. They’d always had fun. V hadn’t been out like this since before all this had started. Hell, he didn’t think he ever would again, and now here he was with Johnny Silverhand of all people.

“Sure,” V finally admitted, and decided not to question how Johnny had known that, “But… do you even know how to dance?”

It just didn’t seem like something Johnny would be into. 

Johnny turned to look at V, his expression a mix between bewildered and insulted.

“I _was_ in a band, remember?” 

“Sure, but that doesn’t mean you can _dance_ ,” V pointed out with a laugh. It was worth it just to see Johnny give him that pissy bitch face, “It _has_ been fifty years. Sure you can keep up, old timer?” 

Johnny hated being teased. That’s why it was so much fun. 

A second later, V realized he might have miscalculated when Johnny suddenly smirked, grabbed him by the front of his shirt, and pulled him in close. At first V thought Johnny was going to hit him, which would have been an overreaction in V’s opinion, but with Johnny’s volatile temper anything was possible. V braced himself for a blow that never happened. Instead, Johnny’s other arm wrapped around his waist, and his hand settled low on V’s back. 

“Is that a challenge?” Johnny all but purred, their faces suddenly inches apart. Johnny released his shirt to slide his fingers up V's arm to his shoulder. V swallowed hard when he realized what was happening. Somehow when Johnny had asked him to dance, he hadn’t thought he meant… together. 

“I…” 

“Come on then,” the older man taunted, swaying against him in a way that made V’s cheeks flush, “Show me your moves, V.” 


	3. Chapter 3

As it turned out, Johnny was actually pretty damn good. Probably shouldn’t have surprised him. Johnny was annoyingly good at just about everything it seemed. As though to fully hammer home the point, he even spun V around all fancy several times. Leaving V feeling a little dizzy and laughing with delight. 

He managed to keep up with Johnny, but only barely. The older man was definitely the better dancer, though V would never admit that aloud. Johnny had a big enough ego as it was. The satisfied smirk on the smug bastard’s face the entire time said he probably knew it anyway. Therefore Johnny took the lead more often than not, and honestly, V was fine with that. He was having a surprising amount of fun. Though it wasn’t without its downsides. 

Namely, the fact that Johnny kept touching him. Whether it was a hand on his shoulder or the back of his neck. Sometimes sliding down his back or resting on his hip to guide him, Johnny’s hands never left him for very long. It could have been innocent (not that V thought Johnny knew the meaning of the word). Johnny could simply have been showing V the way he wanted him to move. V might have believed that, if not for how often the touches were repeated and how long they lingered. If not for how close Johnny always was, their chests often pressed tightly together, thighs brushing, breath mingling…

Not that V was complaining. It was nice. A little too nice, to be exact. If having an incorporeal hologram of Johnny Silverhand lounging around his apartment was temptation incarnate, this was nothing short of torture. 

The darkness of the club might have hidden the aroused flush to his cheeks, but if Johnny kept moving and rubbing against him the way he was, nothing was going to hide V’s growing erection from the other man. V wasn’t even sure if he _should_ be trying to hide it. If anyone else had approached him in a club and started dancing with him the way Johnny was now, V would have no doubts where the night was heading. 

But it wasn’t just anyone. It was Johnny Silverhand. Engram of a dead rock star and terrorist living in his brain, sharing his body, and slowly killing him… Complicated didn’t even begin to cover their relationship. Dysfunctional hardly scratched the surface. But despite all of this, despite his better judgement, he’d come to care for Johnny. He felt closer to Johnny than he had ever felt towards… anyone. How fucked up was that?

Johnny was literally killing him. Not his fault, but still true. The only way to save himself was to get rid of the chip, maybe ‘killing’ Johnny in the process… and yet V didn’t want to think of the day he might have to live without him. 

Johnny’s hands slid around his waist and settled low on his back once more. Drawing him in even closer than before. He felt Johnny’s breath warm against his cheek before he heard the older man’s voice whisper in his ear.

“Quit thinking so damn much.”

V swallowed hard, and after a moment’s hesitation, looped his arms around Johnny’s neck. The older man hummed in approval.

“You know what I’m thinking…” V whispered, not sure if his words were a question or a statement. Johnny was silent for a long time before answering.

“I always know,” he confirmed. 

V’’s breath rushed out of him and pressed his forehead to Johnny’s shoulder with a low groan. Hiding from Johnny’s too knowing gaze. This close he could smell Johnny’s sweat. He wanted to lick it off his skin. Would Johnny let him? 

Johnny tightened his arms around him. 

“V…” Johnny hesitated, and V tried to brace himself for the rejection that he was certain was coming. Instead he heard Johnny curse under his breath and then suddenly his mind was reeling as the entire world seemed to shift around him. The sudden silence had V lifting his head and staring around in shock as he realized they were no longer in the club at all. 

“Wait… isn’t this…”

“The drive-in where we took Rogue for our date? Yup. Figured if we were going to do this, it might be easier someplace quieter,” Johnny said, stepping away from V to lead him over to the lonely husk of the car in the center of the parking lot. Johnny hopped up on the hood of the car, and V joined him cautiously. Johnny lit a cigarette, of course, and V wasn’t sure if it was actually due to his nicotine addiction or if he was just stalling for time. 

“You never did tell me how that date went. What happened?” V commented, deciding to give Johnny a little more time to collect his thoughts if that’s what he needed. Johnny shrugged.

“Nothing really. We watched the movie, talked a bit, she left,” Johnny said, and V frowned at the succinct reply.

“That’s it? I kind of thought you two would… uh…”

“What? You thought I would bang her using your body?”

V winced a little at the bluntness. 

“Well… I kind of thought that was the whole plan…” 

Johnny shook his head and blew out a puff of smoke almost angrily.

“Jesus Christ… you really must have a low opinion of me, if you think I would do that with your body without even asking your permission first,” Johnny muttered. He sounded hurt. 

“You know that’s not true,” V countered immediately. Maybe in the beginning he’d had a pretty low opinion of Johnny, for various reasons. But that was before he actually _knew_ him. Yes, Johnny was an asshole. Often acting like a spoiled child when he was bored or didn’t get his way. Johnny was probably the most difficult man he’d ever met, no question. But that wasn’t _all_ he was. He was also loyal, and kind… in his own way. He had his own agenda, but he also helped V in unexpected ways. Supported him when he needed it the most. Pushed him to keep going when… sometimes all V wanted to do was give up.

“What’s going on here, Johnny? You said yourself, I’m not the brightest bulb on the stage. I need you to tell me… what are we doing here?” 

Johnny let out a soft laugh and tossed away his cigarette. 

“Yeah… I forgot how thick you were sometimes,” he said, and V knew he should feel a little insulted, but at least Johnny was smiling again. 

“Bastard,” V threw back, but it sounded more affectionate than biting. 

Johnny turned to face him. His flesh and blood hand settled warmly on V’s cheek, tracing the stubble along his jaw. V’s lips parted, but he forgot whatever he was about to say when Johnny leaned in and kissed him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's taking a little longer to get to the promised porn than I thought... but almost there.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The porn has officially begun. Happy holidays.

Johnny tasted like cigarettes and alcohol. Not a combination V would have enjoyed under any other circumstances. But the fact that he was tasting _Johnny_ himself at the same time, feeling the heat of his mouth, the pressure of his lips, the scratchiness of his beard... It was worth it a thousand times over. V would have put up with a hell of a lot more to tangle his fingers into Johnny’s hair and pull. To hear and feel the deep groan of pleasure emanate from the older man’s chest in response. To part his lips and allow Johnny’s hot slick tongue inside to taste him in return. 

There was no question that Johnny Silverhand was a passionate man. About his music. About his beliefs. Having that passion focused on him was a major turn on. V was already rock hard when his back hit the hood of the car with a dull thud as Johnny pushed him down and straddled his hips. In return, V slid his hands down Johnny’s back to squeeze that leather clad ass that had been taunting him for weeks. 

Johnny growled and bit his lip, sharp enough to sting. V gasped when his mouth was freed from the demanding kiss, and he gasped again when Johnny’s mouth worked along his jaw and down his neck. Biting and sucking on his skin… and V felt a pang of regret when he remembered all of this was just a dream. There would be no marks left behind when he woke up in the morning. Nothing to prove it had really happened.

“Stop it,” Johnny demanded, lifting his head to stare down at V with a serious expression, “You’re always thinking too much about what’s going to happen next. What you might lose instead of what you have. Enjoy the here and now while you can, V, or you’re going to regret it. Trust me on this.” 

“Christ,” V breathed, feeling knocked off balance by the whiplash of emotions churning around inside of him, “You really do know everything I’m thinking…” 

V remembered how dark his thoughts had been recently. How all the killing and death piling up around him… Jackie, Evelyn, Takemura… had begun to weigh on him. How the near constant pain (that was only getting worse day by day) sometimes made him think, if only briefly, that putting a gun between his teeth and pulling the trigger would be the better option… 

Johnny really did know how to kill the fucking mood...

“Is that what this is? Some kind of fucking intervention?” V snapped, fully prepared to shove Johnny off him if that was the case. Johnny growled in response, grabbed a fist full of his hair and tugged hard, making V gasp sharply at the unexpected pain.

“Stop being a fucking drama queen. I don’t give out pity fucks,” Johnny ground out angrily, his dark eyes practically flashing, before they unexpectedly softened. The fingers in V’s hair relaxed, combing through and massaging away the pain in his scalp. It was probably the only apology he was going to get. 

“I wouldn’t do it, you know,” V finally whispered after a long time. No matter how hard it got. He wouldn’t take himself out. Not like that. If only because he knew doing so wouldn’t just zero him…

Johnny sighed and pressed his forehead against his. V could feel Johnny’s breath when he whispered, “I know…” 

“I just… get scared, sometimes,” he admitted, barely above a breath. Johnny’s breath hitched, and his lips brushed over V’s again. Soft and unbearably tender. 

“I know. Me too,” Johnny replied, surprising V. It was unlike Johnny to admit something so vulnerable. Often he held his true feelings so close to the chest, no one could even begin to guess what the ‘real’ Johnny was like. No one but V who had not only seen Johnny at his most vulnerable, but had _lived_ those moments right alongside him. Maybe that was the reason why Johnny let him see that side of himself now… or maybe…

“Am I going to remember this when I wake up?” V asked. To his credit, Johnny didn’t deny that it had crossed his mind to make sure V _didn’t_ remember this dream upon waking. It would be a shitty move... but V could understand why he might have considered it. It was going to be hard enough to part ways with Johnny, one way or another, when the time came.

“Do you want to?” Johnny asked instead, leaving the choice up to V. 

“Yes,” V replied without hesitation. This might be the only time, the only way, they could ever be together like this. V didn’t want to forget a second of it, no matter how bittersweet the memory might become later on. If he survived… if only one of them… 

“Alright. Let’s make it a good memory then,” Johnny suggested, and kissed V again. The older man’s muscular thigh slid between V’s legs, pressing against his unflagging erection making V squirm. V couldn’t help but moan at the friction. V arched beneath Johnny and his hands slid up underneath the older man’s loose tank top, his fingers trailing along the muscular back. Johnny rolled his hips, licking into V’s mouth when his lips parted in a gasp. V responded by letting his blunt nails drag down Johnny’s back to his ass. As the kisses they exchanged grew deeper, longer, wetter… The hood of the car underneath V’s back made started making unpleasant crunching sounds every time they moved against each other. Not that he cared about the imaginary dents they were making on the imaginary heap of junk. But… it wasn’t all that comfortable either. Though he hated to do it, V eventually broke their kiss.

“Hold on… wait…” he gasped. To his credit, Johnny stopped touching him immediately. He pushed himself up on his cyber arm to look down at V, his expression perplexed, and a little frustrated. V couldn’t really blame him.

“What is it?” 

“Not that this isn’t romantic and shit…” V laughed softly at the face Johnny made, but pushed on, “But can we do this somewhere more… comfortable?” 

Johnny stared down at him with an unreadable expression before he burst out laughing. 

“Oh my god, you’re serious.”

“My back hurts.” 

“Pussy.” 

“If you want me to suck you off, I’m not doing it kneeling on concrete. Sorry,” V countered. That gave Johnny a pause, and the man sighed dramatically. 

“All right, fine. Close your eyes,” Johnny ordered.

“Why?” 

“I don’t know, it’s just… easier that way.”

V obeyed, and after a moment he felt that strange world tilting sensation again as everything around him seemed to shift. The sound of traffic became muted and distant. The hard metal under his back became something much softer. When V opened his eyes again he realized they were back in his apartment. 

“That is so weird,” V commented.

“Better, Princess?”

“Much,” V agreed with a nod. 

“You mentioned a blowjob.” 

V snorted, then flipped their positions without warning. Johnny landed on his back with a huffed laugh, that quickly shifted to a groan as V reached between them to palm the very impressive bulge in those tight leather pants. Probably wasn’t very comfortable. Not to mention the fifty years of celibacy and sexual frustration Johnny had probably endured during that time. It was no wonder the older man’s eyes practically rolled back in his head when V deftly unbuttoned his trousers and slipped his hand inside. 

“Commando? Nice…” 

“Fuck… V… quit teasing…” 

V pulled Johnny free and stroked his fingers slowly along his hot shaft. It really was a nice cock, V had to admit... Long and a perfect thickness, flushed red and weeping at the slit... So many men bragged about their dicks, and couldn’t back all that talk up. It was nice to see that Johnny wasn’t one of those guys. V’s mouth watered at just the thought of gagging on Johnny’s dick, but he couldn’t resist teasing the older man just a little more.

“I dunno, I kind of like it when you beg,” V purred, rubbing his thumb against the sensitive vein and glands just under the flushed head. A bead of white cum formed at the tip and dripped down the length. V licked his lips. Distracted, he wasn’t prepared for when Johnny grabbed him by his hair and tugged him down hard. Almost making V fall onto Johnny’s lap. 

“How’s this for begging? If your pretty mouth isn’t around my cock in two seconds, I’m going to jerk off on your face and leave you to-”

Johnny didn’t get to finish whatever threat he’d been planning, because V had opened his mouth and took the older man’s shaft down his throat almost in one go. Johnny’s fingers tightened in his hair almost to a painful degree, and his hips bucked, almost choking V. But even as his eyes watered, V hadn’t felt this amazing in a long time. Maybe ever. He was sucking off Johnny Silverhand. A fucking legend, and the man he… 

Johnny started to thrust slowly in and out, and V relaxed into. Moaning as he savored the hot cock fucking into his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a side note. The first ending of the game I found was the 'secret' one where V ends up shooting himself. It kind of took me by surprise. Not saying that's the ending this fic leads to, but since it WAS an option, you can see why Johnny might be a bit concerned.


	5. Chapter 5

Focus on the here and now. 

Cliche perhaps, but it was still good advice. Especially coming from Johnny, who had the unique perspective of ‘surviving’ his own death and seeing the results of his regrets, failures, and missed opportunities up close and personal. V was in a similar position. His own death was only postponed, and his remaining time was measured in days… hours… maybe minutes… V had plenty of regrets. Things he would have done differently. So much he’d wanted to do before the end. Maybe even find some kind of closure, some kind of peace, if possible, if things turned out for the worst. 

But this… thing between him and Johnny… at least this would not be among those regrets. V would make sure of that. 

V’s eyes gazed up, drinking in the sight spread out before him. Savoring it. Johnny Silverhand laid out on his bed like a goddamn feast. His leather trousers bunched around his shaking thighs. His back arched, his chest heaving, and a fine sheen of sweat covering his skin. His head thrown back and his mouth open, panting and groaning obscenely, as V worked his mouth up and down the man’s cock. 

Fuck, he was beautiful. V could make millions of eddies with a BD of this. People would kill to experience sucking off the Night City Legend. Swirling his tongue around the head of Johnny’s dick when the other man let him up for a breath. Probing his slit with his tongue, tasting the bitter salty precum that dripped from it freely, before taking the hard column of flesh back into his mouth again and sucking hard. His cheeks hollowing with the effort. Filling his mouth and his throat with flesh hard as hot steel. No one would ever believe such a BD was real, of course, which would undoubtedly only amuse Johnny even more if it ever got out there on the market. 

It was a good thing that V was a possessive bastard. He wasn’t about to share Johnny like this with anyone anytime soon. The very idea sent a hot spike of jealousy right to the pit of his stomach. V had never been that way with previous lovers… and wondered if this was one of the things he’d picked up from Johnny’s personality. Or if it was just Johnny himself that brought out those feelings in V. 

The older man’s fingers curled into a fist in his hair, pushing V to take his cock deeper and V was all too happy to let Johnny use him. His hand went to Johnny’s bare hip, not to restrain, merely to steady himself and to feel the flex in the strong thigh as Johnny thrust in and out of his mouth. The head of Johnny’s cock hit the back of his throat on a particularly deep shove, and V gagged a little, trying to swallow around it. Johnny’s finger’s clenched tight, holding him down, and V’s eyes watered as drool dripped down his chin. 

“Fuck… V… fuck…” Johnny gasped breathlessly, lifting his head to look down at him. Their eyes met, and for a moment V saw something like concern flash underneath the lust in those dark depths. No doubt due to the tears streaming down V’s face. He felt Johnny’s finger’s ease on the back of his head.

In response, V practically buried his nose in Johnny’s dark pubic hair as he took the man’s cock down his throat as deep as he could. Johnny swore profusely and his fingers once more clenched tight in his hair. V moaned in approval. He knew that Johnny liked it a bit on the rough side, and so did he, from time to time. Right now he didn’t want Johnny to hold anything back. Not if this was all they were going to get. 

Getting the message, Johnny held V’s head between his hands and he began fucking into his mouth in earnest. Filling V’s throat over and over, making it difficult to breathe. His throat felt raw and bruised from the constant abuse, but V loved it. It wasn’t like he was going to actually suffocate (and even if he did, he’d much rather it be on Johnny’s cock than his own blood, which had been happening all too often recently). With one final push and a shout from Johnny, he felt the older man’s semen flood his throat. 

V whimpered, his free hand going down to his own groin and squeezing himself hard, needing just a bit of friction as his cock throbbed in his jeans. He swallowed and slurped until Johnny’s cock stopped twitching on his tongue, and the older man finally let him up to breathe. V sucked in a much needed breath as he let the softening prick slip from his lips, and he dropped his head to rest against Johnny’s stomach. He felt almost high from the previous lack of oxygen, and sighed as Johnny’s fingers combed through his hair, far more gentle than before. 

“Fuck, V… that was…” Johnny trailed off and V couldn’t help but grin. Johnny Silverhand at a loss for words? Now this _was_ a rare treat.

“The best blowjob you’ve had in fifty years?” V joked, his voice noticeably more hoarse than before as he propped his chin up on Johnny’s bare hip.

Johnny scoffed in amusement, but he didn’t disagree. 

While he caught his breath, V let his hand wander along Johnny’s skin. Soaking in the older man’s warmth and marveling at the ability to touch him like this. Something V wouldn’t have believed possible before tonight. His fingers traced abstract patterns up and underneath Johnny’s tank top, exploring the rise and fall of muscles and bone. Mapping out the details of scars, some he knew, had even experienced through Johnny’s memories. Some a mystery he wondered if Johnny would ever shed a clue on. As he explored Johnny's side, feeling the long scar left behind by the mantis blade that had impaled him the night Alt had been taken, he felt the older man’s stomach twitch suddenly. V wondered absently if the other man was ticklish…

“Don’t even think about it,” Johnny warned, lazy at best. V’s eyes darted up to meet Johnny’s, and the older man tried to glare at him but couldn’t seem to manage it. Probably still riding the high from his recent orgasm. V’s lips curled in an evil smirk. 

“I said don’t-” Johnny began, but didn’t get to finish because V’s fingers had dug into the sensitive skin around his ribs and the older man practically squealed like a little girl. V lost it, nearly falling off the bed entirely he was laughing so hard. Johnny tried to tickle him back, and knock him on his ass at the same time. Which didn’t really work because V tangled their legs together, practically sitting on Johnny, refusing to give up his advantage. 

They wrestled around playfully for some time, somehow not ending up on the floor in the process. Eventually Johnny managed to fight his way free and put V into a headlock face down on his stomach. V didn’t even mind, pressing his flushed face against the cool pillow, trying to catch his breath.

“My stomach hurts…” V admitted, still giggling a little like an insane person. 

“Fuck…” Johnny whispered, relaxing his hold slightly, and letting his forehead rest on the back of V’s neck, “I forgot what that felt like…” 

"Getting head, or the tickling part?" V asked, curious.

"Both," Johnny admitted. At least he didn’t sound pissed. 

“Yeah…” V agreed. 

When was the last time V had laughed, really laughed, like that? 

“So…” Johnny finally spoke up after some time had passed, “We done? Or are we having a pillow fight next? Maybe braid each other’s hair and tell scary stories?” 

V snorted in amusement. 

“You’re such a prick.”

“You love my prick,” Johnny purred into his ear, sliding the hand not currently wrapped around V’s neck down the length of his body. V laced his fingers with the mechanical ones, leading them exactly where he wanted them to be. Johnny hummed thoughtfully as his hand slipped into the front of V’s jeans.

“That mean we aren’t done?” 

“Guess that depends,” V whispered a little breathlessly. A soft whine escaping him as Johnny traced the outline of his dick through his underwear. 

“On what?” 

“On weather you can get it up again so soon, old man,” V teased, and hissed when Johnny’s fingers squeezed his balls none too gently, “Fuck... Johnny…”

Johnny paused. 

“Was that a request, or…” 

“Fucking hell. Of course it was. Fuck me, Johnny. Please…” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a side note (that has nothing to do with the fic) I just finished a quest in game which had Johnny narrating the whole thing like it was some cheesy noir novel, driving V crazy the whole time, and had me dying. I can't express how much I love these two.


	6. Chapter 6

V had been expecting a lot of reactions (most of them positive) to practically begging Johnny to fuck him. What he hadn’t expected was for the other man to do… nothing. Frowning, V turned his head, trying to get a better look at Johnny, and what he saw confused and worried him. The expression on the older man’s face reminded him of that night at the oil field when they’d gone looking for Johnny’s grave. Confused. Troubled. Lost…

“What is it?” V asked. Had he said or done something wrong? “If you don’t want-”

“It’s not that,” Johnny replied softly, burying his face against the back of V’s neck. The warm puffs of air against his skin made V shiver pleasantly, and did nothing to alleviate his arousal. Mixed signals didn’t even begin to cover it. A moment ago they’d been fucking around and laughing. Having fun. What the hell changed? Johnny’s damn mood swings were going to give him whiplash one day. 

“What is it then?” V prompted a little breathlessly. Doing his best not to squirm against Johnny’s hand, that was still down his damn pants, making it hard (haha) for him to think, “Johnny?”

Johnny sighed heavily.

“I just had a thought... and I can’t help but wonder. If this really is what you want, or what I want?” 

V frowned.

“Why can’t it be both?” 

Johnny shook his head, his long hair tickling feather soft against the nape of V’s neck. His words were so low V could barely hear him despite how close they were.

“I don’t… want to fuck this up. I always fuck things up. Use people to get what I want and throw them away when I’m done.”

“Johnny-” V tried to interrupt, but it seemed Johnny was on a roll now, and nothing was going to stop him.

“I do it every time. Alt, Rogue, Kerry... so many others. But at least they had the choice whether to put up with my bullshit. They could tell me no. I’m in your head. You can’t get rid of me. A damn parasite overwriting your personality with my own. Infecting you. How would you even know if this is what you really want-”

“Johnny, stop!” V shouted. He’d heard enough. V twisted around underneath Johnny to look at him, but the older man didn’t make it easy. Even once they were facing each other, Johnny’s lips remained clamped shut in an unhappy line, and his eyes were focused somewhere distant over V’s shoulder. For once V wished he could see in Johnny’s head as well as Johnny saw into his. He reached up to touch Johnny’s cheek, still marveling a little that he was able to do so in the first place, feeling the scratchy facial hair against his fingertips. There was a bit of resistance when V tried to turn Johnny’s face back towards him, but it gave away quickly when he demanded, “Look at me.”

Johnny did so, but there was clear reluctance in his eyes. 

“You really are a drama queen, you know that?” He told Johnny, earning him a scowl from the other man. V’s lips twitched up at the corners in spite of the seriousness of the conversation. They really were a fucked up pair, weren’t they? “Johnny… I’m not gonna lie. You are the most stubborn, insane, reckless, asshole I’ve ever met in my life. Yeah, you’ve fucked up before. Big time. You probably will again, whether you mean to or not. You’re a selfish, annoying, bastard-”

“Is this supposed to make me feel better?”

“-You’ve lied to me. Used me. Crossed every line there is to cross. But I forgave you, remember? You haven’t let me down since,” V said plainly, but Johnny didn't seem convinced. He sighed, “I know I’m… different now. Neither of us can help that. But you’ve changed too.”

V brushed his thumb along the older man’s cheek tenderly, and Johnny swallowed hard.

“I’m not a good man…”

“No shit. Neither am I. But that doesn’t mean I don’t-” V hesitated, but then decided -fuck it- if they were going to set all their cards on the table, it might as well be now, “-love you, you gonk.”

Johnny’s jaw literally dropped. V tried very hard not to laugh.

“You what?” 

Instead of answering, V leaned up and kissed Johnny, his fingers combing through the other man’s long hair while his tongue licked its way past Johnny’s lips to explore every inch of him he could. It took a moment for Johnny to respond, but when he finally did it was hungry, and almost desperate. They were both left breathing hard when Johnny broke the kiss, his expression a conflicted mess that broke V’s heart to look at. 

“You don’t mean that,” Johnny said, sounding almost desperate for V to take back his words. V probably couldn't blame Johnny for his doubt. After all, it wasn't exactly easy loving a man like Johnny. Probably had to be a saint... or insane, “You barely even know me…”

“I know you well enough, and you don’t get to decide what I feel, Johnny,” V replied firmly, even as his hands remained gentle on the other man. Johnny turned his head to brush his lips against V’s palm. 

“Fuck, V…” 

“Johnny… I want this. You. I don’t care how long it lasts. It might be fucked up, but I don’t care how we got here. I’m just glad we did.” 

As Johnny gazed down at him through his dark eyelashes a soft smile curled his lips V wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before. 

“Yeah. Me too,” Johnny whispered. 

“Good… now can we fuck? I’ve got a terminal case of blue balls here,” V joked, and his attempt to break the tension apparently worked as Johnny let out a bark of laughter that made V’s heart do a funny flip. God, he really was a fool for this man. 

“Can’t have that. Would ruin my reputation,” Johnny replied with a grin, reaching down to tug V’s shirt up over his head without much warning. V squawked in indignation, then gasped when he felt Johnny’s mouth on his chest a moment later. He raised his arms quickly to allow Johnny to pull off the confining garment completely. By the time the fabric hit the floor, Johnny’s lips had found one of his nipples, licking and sucking on the sensitive nub obscenely.

“Shit,” V gasped, and arched as Johnny’s teeth tugged gently at his flesh. He felt Johnny’s hands at his waist next and V gave a relieved sigh when his dick was finally freed from it’s confines. His boots went next, flying when he kicked them off and landing with a loud crash. Johnny merely grinned at him, probably enjoying the chaos, and tugged underwear down his legs to join the pile of clothes on the floor. 

“Ain’t that a pretty sight,” Johnny practically purred, eyeing his cock resting against his belly. To V's embarrassment, his dick twitched and precum dripped from the tip onto his skin just from Johnny looking at him. He might have smacked the older man's shit eating grin right off his face, if he wasn't so damn horny. Before V could demand, once again, for Johnny to shut up and get with the program the other man began to practically devour him. Kissing practically every inch V's chest starting from his collar bones and working his way down. Spending an unreasonable amount of time licking his nipples and mouthing at the twitching muscles of his stomach. Still sensitive from their earlier ‘tickle fight’ and the feel of Johnny’s beard on his skin not doing him any favors.

A steady stream of bitten off moans, gasps, and curses fell from V's lips unrestrained. V was all for foreplay, but even this felt a bit much. 

"Fuck, Johnny... please... fuck..."

One of V's hands pulled and tugged on the dark fall of the older man's hair, trying in vain to force Johnny to move faster. The other slid over the other man’s bare shoulders, his blunt nails digging deep into the muscles there just for something to hold onto (and maybe in revenge of the extending teasing). Not that Johnny seemed to care, taking his sweet time licking at his belly button and watching his reactions through the fall of his hair. V could have wept when Johnny's hands, one hand rough with calluses from playing the guitar, the other cool metal, finally slid down V’s thighs, urging them apart and allowing the older man to settle between them. When Johnny lapped at the precum pooling on his stomach, V practically whimpered. 

"Johnny, I swear... if you don't let me come soon, I'm going to-" V's threat was abruptly cut off with a hiss when Johnny's metal hand slapped his ass. Hard, "You fucking bastard."

Johnny only grinned evilly and went back to what he was doing, bypassing his erection completely to kiss along his inner thigh, starting at his knee and working back up. While it definitely felt nice, it wasn’t what he needed right now.

“Fucking hell, Johnny…” 

“Keep your pants on, princess,” Johnny replied, still grinning like a loon, “Metaphorically, anyway.”

V barely resisted the urge to smack him. 

Johnny ‘rewarded’ his good behavior by pushing V’s knees practically to his chest, exposing every intimate part of him to the older man’s gaze. Fucking, finally! But before V could point Johnny in the direction of the lube, the older man surprised him by licking directly over his hole. 

“God!” V practically shouted.

“Johnny will do,” the smartass lifted his head briefly to joke, and V responded by grabbing him roughly by the hair and shoving his face back down, if only to shut him up. V felt as much as heard the older man chuckle in amusement as Johnny obediently went back to work eating him out. His tongue circling his rim, teasing and probing, before plunging deeply into him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I go a single chapter without angst? Probably not. At least there's still smut :) 
> 
> Happy New Year! Fuck you 2020!
> 
> P.S. Yes, I have a thing for Johnny's hair. Sue me.


	7. Chapter 7

Johnny was good at this. V wasn’t sure why he was surprised that Johnny was good at it. Probably had plenty of practice. Groupies throwing themselves at the rockerboy left and right. All the pussy and ass Johnny could ever want to eat. Maybe it was the fact V wouldn’t have pegged the man as wanting, much less enjoying, going down on someone like this. Self-centered bastard that he was… or a least had been. Then again, maybe it was a matter of pride. Johnny would have been the last person wanting it getting around that he was a lousy lay. 

Whatever the reason for the older man’s apparent abundant experience in this area, V was eternally grateful for it. 

V gasped as Johnny’s tongue eagerly lapped at his quivering hole, leaving him so wet he was practically dripping. Once his body had begun to relax, Johnny’s tongue worked its way past the clenched muscle to taste inside of him. Curling against the sensitive inner walls and making gentle circling motions to open him up even more. Practically fucking him with his tongue, deeper than V would have thought possible. His thighs shook in the firm hands holding him open, and his cock throbbed with every deep lick. Precum dribbled onto his quivering stomach freely, but despite the intense pleasure shooting through him like sparks, it still wasn’t enough to push him over the edge. 

One of V's hands moved to grasp his aching dick, which practically jumped in eagerness at the simple touch. But before he could stroke himself even once, Johnny’s cyber hand grabbed him by the wrist and forced his hand away from his cock down to the bed. 

“What the fuck, Johnny…” V complained loudly, but his ire was ruined by how breathless and needy he sounded even to his own ears. 

Johnny lifted his head to look at him, and V whined. Johnny’s lips were red, and his mouth wet. His hair was an utter wreck from V’s fingers constantly combing and pulling on it, and he looked as fucked out as V felt. To his shame V realized he probably would have swooned at the sight if he wasn’t already laying down. No man should be this damn hot. Johnny smirked up at him, no doubt catching those thoughts.

“Johnny…” V’s voice quivered, needy, but it was also a warning. Johnny’s other hand slid along his thigh, almost soothing.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of you. Trust me?” The question was surprisingly earnest, and V felt his frustration slipping away in spite of himself. 

“You know I do,” V answered honestly, not just talking about the sex. 

“Good,” Johnny replied softly, kissing V’s inner thigh and V’s fingers clenched into the bedding beneath him, but remained where they were when the other man finally released him. Two of Johnny’s metal fingers trailed through the generous amount of slick on V’s stomach, coating them thoroughly.

“You’re going to enjoy this," he promised.

That was all the warning V got before Johnny’s fingers slipped down to press against his hole. V hissed a little when the cyber fingers circled his rim, the cool metal a sharp contrast to the earlier heat of Johnny’s tongue. Thankfully they warmed quickly as they pushed inside of him. The slide easy thanks to how smooth the metal was to begin with, not to mention the obscene amount of cum and saliva slicking the way. As Johnny’s fingers pressed deeper into him than his tongue could reach, curling to find his prostate, V whimpered. 

Johnny’s watchful eye and near manic grin really should have been a warning.

V jolted when he felt… what he could only describe as a mild electric pulse from Johnny's fingertips deep inside him that left him gasping and his whole body tingling. At first he thought it was some kind of fluke and V started to relax as the metal fingers worked in and out of him. But then they rubbed at his prostate again, and he felt it a second time, a little more intense than the first, and V threw his head back with a shout.

“Fuck!”

“Told you, you’d like that,” Johnny responded with a chuckle, far too smug for V’s liking.

“Fuck you,” V bit back, and whimpered when Johnny did whatever he was doing a third time. 

“Want me to stop?” he offered, his fingers stilling inside of V.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” V growled back, earning him another one of those dark velvet chuckles that V both loved and hated. Johnny’s fingers started moving again. Thrusting, circling, and spreading inside of him to open him up even wider than before. Eventually a third finger joined them, making his hole burn and his body ache. V practically howled when he felt that jolt inside of him again, even more intense than before. Sweat dripped down his skin and his cock throbbed in time with his rapid heart beat. His fingers clawed at the sheets beneath V, practically tearing them.

“J-Johnny… I need… Touch me, please…” All it would take is one touch...

Johnny’s warm hand slid lovingly over his quivering thigh.

“No. I think you can come just from this,” Johnny’s voice was a low purr that went straight to V’s cock. The fingers inside of him sped up, filthy wet noises filling the room, causing more precum to dribble onto V's stomach, but not enough to push him over the edge yet. V shook his head, looking desperately at the older man watching him intently. 

“I can’t…”

“Yeah, you can. You’re almost there,” Johnny encouraged, his fingers thrusting even faster, deeper. Those little jolts inside his body becoming more frequent and intense, making V’s whole body jump every time Johnny touched his prostate. V’s hips bucked, riding the older man’s hand. In response, Johnny’s free hand shifted to his inner thigh, pinning him down and open, giving him the perfect view as V quickly came undone. 

Johnny’s thumb rubbed along his perineum, massaging his prostate from the outside as well as inside. V tossed his head back with a desperate cry. 

“Come on, Vincent. Let me see you come, baby,” Johnny whispered, and apparently that was all it took. V might have been embarrassed, if he wasn’t so busy enjoying the intensity of the orgasm that rolled through him like a tidal wave. He could have cried as every muscle in his body seemed to grow taunt as his cock pulsed harder than it ever had in his life. Practically bathing his stomach and chest in semen, some shooting all the way up to his damn chin in the process. Gradually the fingers inside of him slowed, bringing him back down gently, and all V could do was collapse in a boneless and shivering mess as aftershocks rippled through him. 

V whimpered softly when the fingers gently slid out of him. His whole body felt oversensitive. The hands smoothing along his shaking thighs. The kisses pressed to his warm sweat soaked flesh. The wicked tongue lapping it’s way up his cum streaked skin from his stomach to his chest. It felt so good, but it was almost too much at the same time. When Johnny finally settled beside him on the bed, V let his eyes slide open slowly. The older man propped himself up on his elbow, his other hand continuing to trail his fingers absently over V’s thighs, stomach, and chest. Sometimes gently circling around a nipple, but otherwise thankfully avoiding his more over-stimulated areas. 

“That was…” V’s liquefied brain tried and failed to come up with the words he wanted to convey just how good that had been. 

“Nice?” Johnny offered with a little smirk, and V laughed softly at the understatement of the century.

“Yeah, very nice,” V agreed, reaching up to run his fingers through Johnny’s messy hair, and pulling the older man down into a slow kiss. Tasting himself, as well as Johnny, and moaning softly as their tongues twined lazily. 


	8. Chapter 8

V couldn’t say how long they remained like that. Limbs intertwined, trading lazy touches and kisses. Who would have thought? Big bad terrorist Johnny Silverhand was a closet cuddler. Seemed Johnny was just full of surprises today. Not that V was complaining. Not one bit. 

At some point V could no longer ignore the cooling mess of sweat and spunk drying on his skin and reluctantly pulled away from the other man.

“I need a shower. I’m gross,” V stated the obvious, but he didn’t move to get up yet. Johnny hummed thoughtfully, lacing their fingers together. V didn’t miss how the simple gesture made his heart flutter like a love sick teenager. 

“You’re definitely going to need one when you wake up,” Johnny pointed out, sounding more than a little amused. V blinked, he’d almost forgotten that this was all just a dream. Then he groaned softly when he remembered how he’d gone to sleep the night before, still wearing his damn jeans. He hated coming in his pants, and no doubt it would be all dry and stuck to his skin by the time he woke up too. That was a mess he was _not_ looking forward to cleaning up. Johnny chuckled, and V glared mildly at him. Not like _he_ had to worry about the clean up. 

Well, V decided there was no reason why he should be uncomfortable _now_ too, and reluctantly climbed off his bed, dragging Johnny along with him. The older man followed without complaint, and a quick glance over his shoulder showed Johnny’s attention was firmly fixed on his naked ass. V felt no small measure of pride over that, and might have sauntered a little more than he needed on the way to the bathroom. 

Reaching the small shower stall, V wasted no time turning on the water as hot as he could stand. He sighed pleasantly as dunked his head under the faucet, the water drenching his shoulders and down his back. When he turned to face Johnny, the older man quickly closed the distance between them, backing V up against the wall to kiss him thoroughly. The hard press of Johnny’s cock against the wet skin of his thigh came as no surprise. 

Moaning helplessly into the hot mouth moving against his own, V reached out to help the older man remove his now drenched tank top, wanting to see and feel every part of him. The dog tags Johnny always wore jangled as they settled against the older man’s chest, drawing V’s attention when their lips parted out of necessity. 

Johnny’s wet skin was a map of old faded scars telling the story of a difficult life filled with blood and death. V trailed his fingers up Johnny’s cybernetic arm, the one he lost in the last Corpo war. Over various gunshots and knife wounds that littered his chest, no doubt gifts from living on the violent streets of Night City. V didn’t know a single person who didn’t have at least one similar. But Johnny had more than most. Most likely thanks to his efforts to wage a one man war against Arasaka. Stripping off the soaked leather pants, that clung to Johnny’s legs like a second skin, exposed even more. 

Once the older man was completely bare, V’s palm settled on one particularly large scar that covered Johnny’s hip. It looked like a shrapnel wound. Maybe caused by a grenade that had exploded just a little too close for comfort. Trailing his fingers up and around Johnny’s back, V pressed his lips to the other man’s shoulder where flesh met metal. Johnny’s fingers tangled in his hair and a soft groan spilled from the older man’s lips when V licked along the seam where the two joined. 

“What’s gotten into you?” Johnny asked. At least he sounded merely curious, rather than weirded out, by V’s behavior.

“I dunno… I just… It’s funny, isn’t it? You could have died from any one of these,” V muttered, running his hands along Johnny’s chest again, his fingers lingering on several of the largest scars for emphasis, “But if it wasn’t for Adam Smasher. Arasaka. Dex putting a bullet in my head… we never would have met. Talk about a million to one chance.”

Johnny made a face.

“You saying we should be _grateful_ to them?” he asked in disbelief. V snorted softly and shook his head.

“Hell no. Just… trying to look on the bright side, I guess. We never should have met… but now I can’t imagine you not being in my life,” V admitted. 

Johnny hummed softly, his thumb running along V’s hairline where Vik had dug the bullet out of his skull. 

“I haven’t heard anything so gag inducingly sappy in my life. I’m going to blame it on you coming out your last brain cell,” Johnny commented, and V laughed. Maybe he would have been more insulted if Johnny didn’t sound so fond when he said it.

“Says the one calling me ‘Vincent’ and ‘baby’ in bed, baby,” V countered and Johnny merely shrugged before leaning in to kiss him again, licking and nipping at V’s lower lip while pressing close to rub their cocks together wetly. Despite so recently ‘coming his brains out’ V’s dick gave an interested twitch, and his fingers dug into Johnny’s lower back, holding him close. 

“You complaining?” Johnny asked, a little breathless, as he braced one hand on the wall behind V while his other slid between them to take both their cocks in hand, stroking them together. V’s breath hitched in his throat and he shook his head.

“Not at all,” he gasped. His hips twitching involuntarily, thrusting into Johnny’s grip. Despite, or maybe because, of how sensitive he still was from the extended foreplay and recent orgasm, V’s cock quickly began to harden again. Johnny hummed in approval, swirling his thumb over the heads of both dicks, smearing the sticky precum between them. 

“Turn around,” he ordered, and V was all too eager to comply, bracing both his hands on the cool tile wall. Johnny’s hands trailed down his back from his shoulders to his ass appreciatively. V glanced over his shoulder.

“Oh, are we finally going to fuck? Thought you might have forgotten, old man,” V teased cheekily, earning him another slap on the ass. Johnny seemed to enjoy doing that a little too much. They might have to explore that, another time.

“Well I didn’t do all that work for nothing, now did I?” Johnny shot back, and V couldn’t help but grin. Despite how put-upon Johnny tried to sound, V knew the older man had loved every fucking minute of it. 

As Johnny’s chest pressed against his back, V felt the blunt head of the older man’s cock slide along the cleft of his ass. His breath hitched in anticipation, and Johnny’s lips pressed a soothing kiss to the nape of his neck. The sharp feeling of teeth sinking into the meat of his shoulder was immediately followed by Johnny’s cock pushing into him. Thicker than the fingers had been and burning hot.

“Johnny… fuck…” V gasped, tossing his head back with a shout as Johnny’s hips snapped forward. Not giving him much time to adjust before filling him to the hilt. It was almost too much. He was already over sensitive, and the sudden intense pleasure/pain combination almost made V’s legs give out beneath him, “F-fuck… fuck…”

Tears sprang to his eyes. 

“I’ve got you,” Johnny whispered, his fingers firm on V’s hips to keep him steady. Not moving, but remaining buried inside him. After some time V’s ragged breathing began to even out and he started to relax around the invasion. Johnny hummed in approval, “You okay now, princess?”

“Fuck you.” 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Johnny chuckled, his breath warm against V’s neck. He drew out, thankfully a little slower, till only the head remained, then thrust forward again. Rolling his hips, as though to make sure V felt every inch of him. V whimpered, his whole body trembling. 

“Fuuuuuuck,” V moaned helplessly. 

“Want me to stop?” Johnny asked, his voice a little unsteady now as well, and V felt no small amount of satisfaction at that. 

“No,” V reassured with a shake of his head, his hips rocking back to meet Johnny’s next thrust. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somebody, maybe: How much more smut will there be?  
> Me: Yes.


	9. Chapter 9

V hadn’t felt this good in… too long. Way too long. 

“Johnny… fuck, yes…”

The feeling of Johnny behind him, inside of him. Fucking him slow, but hard enough that V had to brace his hands firmly on the wall in front of him as each thrust rocked him forward. The sound of Johnny’s hips slapping against his ass seemed loud in the small space. It was perfect. Not to mention, Johnny’s aim was impeccable. His thick cock hitting V’s prostate with nearly every move he made. 

“Yeah… fuck yeah, right there… Johnny…” V moaned as Johnny’s fingers dug bruises into V’s hips to hold him steady while they fucked. 

“Are you always this loud? Or am I special?” the older man teased, sounding amused.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” V shot back. 

“You saying you’ve had better?” Johnny taunted, pushing in deep and practically grinding his cock against his prostate, making V bite his lip to keep from whining. For a moment, V couldn't speak at all. Johnny’s fingers slid up his sides, over his sensitive ribs, and around to pinch his nipples. Hard enough for V to cry out and clench around Johnny inside of him. The older man groaned in pleasure.

“Fuck yeah, that’s it…” Johnny whispered, kissing his ear. V tried to turn his head to capture his lips, and only managed to connect briefly before Johnny rocked him forward again with a deep thrust. V pressed his forehead against the cool tile with a groan. 

His cock wept, begging for attention. 

“Johnny, please…” 

Johnny stilled inside of him again, making V want to scream in frustration.

“Johnny-”

“I want to hear you say it,” Johnny cut off his complaint, and V’s mind blanked for a moment before he realized what he meant.

“Oh my god, you’re serious…” V laughed breathlessly, “You narcissistic bastard…” 

Johnny rolled his hips deep. It felt amazing, but was more of a tease than what V really wanted. Which was a good hard pounding. 

“I can do this all day, baby,” Johnny ‘threatened’ and V really wanted to call that bluff one day. But for now he decided to keep playing along.

“I don’t know… there was that one guy with the vibrating cock implant…” he teased back, not willing to give in just yet. V wasn’t prepared for Johnny to suddenly withdraw from him completely in response.

“What the fuck-” V’s complaint was cut off when Johnny spun him around without warning. V’s back hit the wall and a second later his feet left the ground, making him squawk in surprise. V’s fingers scrambled for purchase on the older man’s shoulders as Johnny hooked his legs over his elbows and held him pinned there like he weighed nothing. It really shouldn’t have turned him on as much as it did.

“Anyone who needs to chrome out their junk to get the job done isn’t worth the fuck,” Johnny practically growled. He actually sounded a little pissed. Or… was he jealous? Of some random gonk V had fucked months ago? No way. Probably just a bruised ego. V didn’t know whether to laugh or roll his eyes. But then all thoughts of Johnny’s ego (and vibrating dicks) was driven out of his mind completely when Johnny reentered him in one swift move and began fucking him again relentlessly. 

It felt even better than before, because now his weeping cock was trapped between them, rubbing against Johnny’s toned stomach with every move they made, leaving trails of cum on Johnny’s damp skin. One of V’s hands tangled in Johnny’s dark raven hair, yanking the older man into a kiss that was all teeth and tongue. 

Johnny allowed it for several blissful moments. Tongue fucking V’s mouth similarly to how his cock was fucking his ass. Deep and filthy. But all too soon Johnny broke their kiss leaving him breathless. V’s head dropped back against the wall, and Johnny seemed to take that as an invitation to bite and suck at the side of his neck. V wrapped his arms around Johnny’s neck and just held on, letting Johnny have his way. Knowing he wouldn’t be disappointed.

Johnny’s chrome fingers found their way to V’s chest again and started to play with his nipples. Pinching and tugging on the already over sensitive peaks. When that same tingling electric pulse began to dance over his skin again from those fingers, V shouted at the combination of pleasure and pain assaulting him from every direction. 

“Well?” Johnny lifted his head to breathe against V’s lips. His neck felt sore, and if V looked in a mirror he knew he’d have an impressive love bite left behind. Possessive bastard. 

“Well, what?” 

“You never answered the question,” Johnny repeated, punctuating his words with repeated hard thrusts that rocked V to his core. V’s over aroused body ran up the white flag. 

“Fine. This is definitely the best dream sex with an imaginary friend I’ve ever had. Happy now?” V managed to pant out with just enough sass to show just how unimpressed he was by Johnny’s behavior. 

Johnny tilted his head to the side as if seriously thinking about his answer, before giving V a shit eating grin.

“Yup,” he chirped happily, as his hand slid between them to finally wrap around V’s aching dick. V’s head fell back against the wall with a groan and he rolled his eyes.

“You are such a dick,” he couldn’t help but pant breathlessly. Johnny stroked his cock slowly, playing with the head between his slippery fingers. V’s body began to shake, so close to the edge by this point it was almost torture. 

“You love me anyway,” Johnny quipped, pressing a soft kiss to V’s chin.

V looked back down to Johnny, their eyes locking. 

“Yes,” he breathed without a hint of his earlier playfulness. Johnny’s eyes softened and V was reminded of that moment in that hotel room in Pacifica. Where Johnny had asked him if he would take a bullet for him, and V had answered honestly. Yes. It was the moment V realized that somewhere somehow in this whole fucked up mess he had actually fallen for the bastard. Followed quickly by the crushing realization that it didn’t matter, because it was only ever going to end one way. With one of them dead and the other alone. It was just a question of which one.

“Johnny…” V whispered, and the older man kissed him again. Almost tenderly, even as Johnny’s thrusts picked up pace. Fucking him faster but growing more erratic. They were both close...

“I’ve got you. Let go,” Johnny breathed against his lips, squeezing his cock, and V did. His cum splashing hot between them as his whole body shook, almost sobbing Johnny’s name as he came undone. Johnny thrust a few more times and released inside of him with an almost pained groan. Feeling the other man’s hot seed inside him made V shudder again in the aftershocks of his orgasm, wrapping his arms around Johnny’s neck and dropping his forehead to his shoulder as he panted desperately. Johnny held him steady through it all. But eventually eased out of him slowly. V whimpered, feeling like a raw nerve. 

“Easy… I’ve got you…” Johnny repeated, finally letting him down carefully to stand on his feet once more. Supporting V when his knees felt like jelly. His hands running soothingly up and down V’s body until his trembling finally ceased. 

When he was finally more or less steady, Johnny urged V to turn around and stand back under the shower spray. For the first time, V felt like he was actually moving in a dream. Everything feeling a little slow and fuzzy around the edges. 

Johnny’s hands were gentle as they moved over his skin. Washing away the traces of sperm and sweat from his stomach and between his legs. V was almost disappointed when he was finished. It suddenly made everything feel less… real. 

Because it wasn’t. 

“Come on,” Johnny urged him out of the stall once they were relatively clean. A towel, softer and fluffier than any V actually owned was wrapped around him. Then Johnny guided him back to his bed, which was somehow freshly made with clean sheets. V felt like crying. 

He curled up on his side facing the wall and after a moment felt Johnny spoon up behind him. V felt strangely exhausted, and wanted to sleep, even though technically he was already doing so. He had no idea what that might mean. A gentle kiss was pressed to his shoulder from behind. 

“What’s wrong?” Johnny asked carefully, his palm smoothing down V’s bare hip.

V swallowed past the sudden lump in his throat, his eyes beginning to sting.

“I’m going to wake up soon, aren’t I?” he asked hesitantly, and almost laughed at the irony. He’d been so afraid of going to sleep, and now? Now he was afraid of waking up. Returning to a world where he was dying, in constant pain, and Johnny was no more than a ghost… V had always known this was only a brief respite. A dream that would have to end, and yet… 

Johnny was silent for a long time.

“You’ve only been asleep for about a minute,” he said softly and V blinked, turning to look at Johnny in shock. That… couldn’t be possible, could it? It felt like _hours_ had passed. But then again, it wasn’t the first time he’d experienced something similar. When he had followed Brigitte into cyberspace and relived Johnny’s memories. Hours experienced in a blink of an eye. 

“How… how long will this dream last?” V asked cautiously. Johnny looked uncomfortable.

“I was going to end it now,” Johnny admitted. V grasped his hand, holding on almost desperately, as though that might keep Johnny there. Keep the dream from ending. If dreaming for barely a minute could feel like hours...

“How long _could_ it last?” V demanded.

“Your mind is exhausted. You should sleep normally…” 

“How long?!”

“I don’t know!” Johnny almost shouted, “Months? Years?”

V was stunned. Years... Years he didn’t have in the real world. Years he could spend with Johnny. It could feel like a lifetime. It wouldn’t be real… but it was a lifetime they wouldn’t get any other way. 

“Johnny…” V whispered.

“No… don’t ask me to do this,” Johnny pleaded. Don’t tempt me, his eyes said. 

“Please…” 

Johnny closed his eyes in defeat and pressed his forehead against V. 

“I don’t know what this will do to you,” he sounded wretched. Defeated. He thought that V was giving up. He blamed himself. 

V might never wake up. 

“It’s okay,” V reassured, hugging Johnny to him tightly. He felt like a weight was suddenly lifted from his shoulders. He wasn’t afraid anymore. He didn’t have to live his last days in pain. He could be with the man he loved.

Who wouldn’t want to live in that world? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit, I struggled with this last part. Not sure how I like it. Might tweak it a bit later, but for now, that's the end. Thanks everyone who read, left kudos and especially those who commented. I appreciate it a lot.


End file.
